Healing our hurts
Have you ever had an injury such as a sore lower back, shoulder, digestive issue etc that has hung around for a while? You may have had conventional treatment but it just doesn’t seem to heal. The reason why often an injury will not heal long term is because we haven’t dealt with the underlying root cause of why the ill has happened in the first place. Until the root cause is addressed the condition will never truly heal.
One of the reasons why we don’t address the root cause is because we do not want to feel the choices that we have been making or the pressure or strain we have been putting ourselves under. We get caught in our emotions, we react and feel hurt by what others say and do and often we don’t take responsibility for the part we play.
We then choose to bury what we are feeling and ‘get on with life’.
There are a myriad of ways in which we can bury our feelings and I could write a whole article on this alone. Food is a big one, alcohol, sport, staying caught in emotions, pushing our bodies and hardening them. In fact any activity or movement that we do in a way where we disconnect from our body and do not honour the true delicateness and tenderness that we are has the potential to bury what we are feeling.
When we bury our feelings we push those feelings that may be just on the surface, deeper into the physical body so that we don’t have to face the pain or hurt of what is actually there. As human beings, we get very good at doing this and find all sorts of ways to distract ourselves from feeling our bodies and we therefore stay caught in the mental activity of our minds.
So having understood what our hurts are and why it is no good to bury them, how then do we work with this?
Here is a simple guideline that can support you to reconnect to what is going on in your body and become more familiar with addressing your hurts.
- Nominate the hurt when you feel it without blame. Let yourself acknowledge that the incident/person/event that has happened has actually deeply affected you and that you feel hurt by it. At this stage it is important to do this without blame. You are simply nominating what is there.
- Feel where this hurt resides in your body. You may feel a tightness in your chest, in your lower back, in your jaw. In fact, it could be held anywhere in the body. Make this exercise physical so that you feel how the hurt affects your body rather than staying in the thought process in your mind of “he said, she said” etc.
- Stay with what you feel, without judging or trying to fix it. Simply let yourself be with what it is that you are feeling. Practice self-acceptance and that this is a process that you are going through. Let yourself truly be with what is there without fighting the urge to not go there. Stay out of the mental dialogue that may be running in your mind and stay with the sensations that you are feeling in your body.
- Notice if there are any patterns or behaviours that you go into to stop yourself from feeling the hurt. Try to avoid using those things as medications (chocolate, alcohol, coffee) and instead let yourself be with what you feel (as explored in point 3).
- You may like to seek support from a friend or a practitioner so that you can see the situation more clearly. Be careful to seek assistance from a person who will not allow you to ‘wallow’ or go into blame, but who will reflect a steadiness and openness so that you can go deeper within and learn that this is a healing process for you and for you to see and own your part in it.
The way to heal our hurts is to not bury them but let them come to the surface so that they can come up and out of the body. If we over ride what we feel, pretend that they are not there and push them back down – we bury emotions deeper into the physical body and at some point this will show up via an injury or illness.
We are all deeply sensitive human beings. Let yourself be and live in with your sensitivity. This is not weak, but in fact our true strength and power.
For further reading, here is a great article We are Not our Hurts by Jean Gamble,
Donna Gianniotis offers Esoteric Healing, Connective Tissue Therapy, Massage , Yoga/Meditation at Cammeray Yoga. She has a love of working with people to understand the root cause of their ill or injury and works with these modalities to support her clients to return to true health and wellbeing. For bookings contact Donna email@example.com