In our last article we began the exploration on the Topic of Love. Here we continue with Part 2 and our upcoming Part 3 will conclude this trilogy.
You may like to re visit What is Love – Part 1 before reading this article.
So let’s pick up from where we left off from Part 1 with the pondering of…
So could it be that to find true love our first port of call is our reconnection back to self?
What we are considering here is, could it be that where we have gone wrong in finding true love is that we tend to look for it in and from another? We look outside of ourselves and project that someone else is going to give us the love that we crave.
However, it is only when we feel love within and for ourselves that it becomes possible (and easy) to feel it for and within another. In truth, someone can only love you, if they hold themselves in love. Otherwise that someone is, unconsciously or not, looking at fulfilling their own needs or emptiness – in other words bandaging some unresolved hurts.
This commonly felt state of ‘love’ can feel like it is love but it is important to see that it is based upon conditions and pictures and therefore we so often see the roller coaster ride that comes along with it – the ups and downs of so-called love. But if love is unconditional, there is no ride to be had. This is what we are going to refer to as emotional love. Emotional love will always have conditions based upon it such as “I will love you if you love me back”, or “if you fulfil my need then I will love you” – all of which lead to relationships based on arrangements rather than true love.
True love is not based on conditions.
It is a love that we hold for ourselves and that we feel from within and then from holding ourselves in this love, we can then hold another in the same love – having no needs, no wants, just simply allowing another to be themselves. We offer that person the space to be themselves. When this space is held for another, it offers them the opportunity to feel their essence, to feel who they truly are – that they too are love.
If we are busy trying to make someone something that we want them to be then this confirms to them that they are not enough and reinforces the held belief that they are not complete, that they are not love. So we can see here the responsibility that we hold in offering space for another to feel who they truly are. To hold them in the grandness that they are – but of course this is not possible unless we already hold ourselves first in the grandness that we are.
So how do we hold ourselves in love?
This will be the topic for discussion in our next article.